Thursday, October 8, 2009

I Know I Can! I Know I Can!

Well, the Cardinals blew it late in the game today and so did the Mizzou Tigers. I always have high hopes that they'll pull it together and win the next time. I should take this as a lesson when I've had a bad food day.

If you've ever dieted (which I'm trying to avoid – trying to make a lifestyle change, here), you've probably had a day, or maybe many days, when you went "off" your diet and, all of a sudden, it was imperative that you eat all the forbidden foods you'd been craving before the clock strikes midnight and you turn back into a deprived, guilt-ridden dieter. So how does that brownie you ate compare to a full day of gluttony? Which action do you think is the lesser evil?

It's very hard for me to just have one something, because I'm compulsive about eating and I feel deprived most of the time I'm not engaged in the act of eating. For me, eating the trigger food (which is really most foods, when you add starchy foods to fatty and sugary foods, as well as counting service size as a food category of its own) is a lot like I imagine taking that first toot of cocaine or eating just one Lays potato chip. I just can't do it.

Most of the time, I feel powerless over food and I find myself engaging in negative self-talk about food. You know, like "Exercise, eat healthy, die anyway" or "What's the point of trying to eat healthy food? I'll just blow it in a few days anyway." So what if I do? The next day or meal or snack is another chance to make a good food choice. I need to believe that and to start affirming my ability to make a good choice now and the next time.

I am making good choices as I type this blog. And the Cardinals will beat the Dodgers on Saturday.